Page 1 of 1

coveted GERBIL AWARD FOR HUMOUR winning joke

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 11:29 am
by sleeper
the logic is irrefutable, although i know ofey will try :)

SUICIDE BOMBERS IN THE UK - GO ON STRIKE

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife.
Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.
The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25%, (from 72 to only 60) and applicable from this February,
The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bomber's union, (BOOM) British Organization of Occupational Martyrs responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press,
"Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad.
We don't ask for much in return, and to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth."

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in which he currently resides,
Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained,
"We sympathise with our workers concerns, but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands.

They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.

Thanks to Western depravity there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off.
I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up anymore."

Spokespersons for the Union in the north east of England, Ireland, Wales, Scotland and the entire American & Australian continents stated that the strike would not affect their operations, as "there are no virgins left in their areas anyway."

Intelligence Sources closely affiliated with "BOOM" have stated that the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of Scottish singing star Susan Boyle.

Now that Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like they are not so keen on going to paradise.
*hand*

thanks sam, u crack me up.

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 5:51 pm
by sleeper
wasnt me, and thats enough sam.

gah!

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 6:19 pm
by SAM-24A
That's it for now guys *pound* *censored* *peep* *bolt* well at least until the next comp *amen*


Sam, :P

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 6:39 pm
by sleeper
joke deleted, just a tad over the top :)

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:04 pm
by SAM-24A
Hey Steve,

I bet you copied my last Timber-Yard joke before you deleted it !!
In fact, I reckon you have probably copied all of my jokes in the Gerbil Award thread *crazy*

Maybe you can place the Timber-Yard joke in the Hidden Forum where it's safe to read.

Sam. :lol:

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:06 pm
by sleeper
i`m gonna copy the winning one with your approval, dont u have access to the hidden forum?

but, no, its gone, i didnt copy it.

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:13 pm
by sleeper
heh,

(BOOM) British Organization of Occupational Martyrs

cracks me up.

boom.com.au , hmmm, register that one :)http://www.boom.com.au

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:14 pm
by Mitch
sleeper wrote:heh,

(BOOM) British Organization of Occupational Martyrs

cracks me up.


steve are you bored mate

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:18 pm
by sleeper
absolutely not mitch

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:29 pm
by SAM-24A
Of course you have my permission to copy any of them Steve.
No I don't have access to the Hidden Forum.
If you like I can PM you a copy of the Timber-yard joke or email it to you, send me your email address if you wish.

Sam.

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:33 pm
by sleeper
steve.wyld@optusnet.com.au

btw, i stickeys the winning joke on the joke forum :)

Posted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 9:24 pm
by vlad_the_impaler
I thing there's no point to put GEBRIL AWARD FOR HUMOR in competition section... I mean there WON'T be any competition IMO... Uncle Sam is hopeless and from "another dimmension" LOL... just give him the AWARD I'm sure he's got plenty jokes at least for a year *heh* *yield* *rofl*

Gee... Timber-yard... :lolhit:... I remember my mom's look when my father was telling it to his friends ages ago LOL

Uncle Sam FTW!!!

Posted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:39 pm
by Nick07
I got banned from Bunnings today. I walked in, and some idiot in a green apron asked me if I wanted decking. So I got the first punch in.

man i was at an ATM today and this little old lady asked if i could help check her balance... so i pushed her over

I was stealing things in the supermarket today, while balanced on the
shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.